on dancing

i woke up friday morning from a very vivid dream (a frequent occurrance)...  this particular dream included my grandma, who passed away almost exactly 5 years ago.

in the dream, i heard of suspicious and dangerous behavior in my grandma's neighborhood and because i knew of it, i had to do something about it - i had to get my grandma out of her neighborhood so that she would be safe.

what made this dream unique in my opinion was the fact that it was so relevant to my life right now.  sometimes what i dream reveals something good or meaningful to me that just gets planted somewhere in my heart or mind for future reference.  sometimes a dream reminds me something i've learned or experienced in the past, and that's good too.  but THIS DREAM spoke clearly to me in regards to my present circumstance.

when i went to pick up my grandma, i mentioned nothing of danger but i'm sure i seemed concerned.  this was our conversation:

me: "grandma, we need to go.  i'm going to take you to my house."
grandma: "i want to go dancing."

~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~

when my grandma was alive, i never knew her to be the "dancing type"... to me she was simply this caring and loving woman who liked to do puzzles and could make awesome french toast.  but in this moment, in my dream, when i was captivated by fear, she wanted to go dancing.  i believe that through this dream, the Lord revealed to me that i cannot allow myself to be griped by fear of the unknown or of what i "hear about".  i have to dance.  i have to live in the moments.  i have to BE PRESENT in the part of my life that is happening right now.  there is joy to be found and lived in, and i must choose to live in that instead of any sort of fear.

life can be scary... and this world is certainly a dangerous place.  i realize that JOY needs to be my choice.  sadness has easily overcome me in the past few weeks and fear could very well hold me back in the weeks and months to come, but i need to DANCE... let go, be free, and hear the music... the glorious sounds of life that surround me.

SO, tonight i danced.  literally.  with an almost 1 year old, tutu-wearing little girl on my right hip, her right hand held in and extended forward with my left.  a performance of LMFAO's Party Rock Anthem was on TV and i bounced her and spun her and dipped her in the front living room... and she laughed and i laughed and in those few minutes i felt so carefree.  i was captivated with joy.  willow brought it in her laughter and i felt it in this wonderful presence in the dakin home.

i'm sure that's the kind of dancing my grandma was seeking to experience in my dream.  carefree, heartfelt, spontaneous, fun, and full of joy dancing.

i pray that my life reflects my heartfelt intention to live in the present, choosing joy... and dancing.  how ironic it is that i made a promise to myself a month ago that as a 23 year old, i would dance more...