shopping life's shoe stores

working in retail has given me a view of the "other side" of the shopping experience. i work with people every day and help them to have a good (and hopefully successful!) shopping experience. i help people from different races, lifestyles, backgrounds, and marital statuses make choices. the choice of what to buy with thoughts in mind as to how it will be worn. most people come into the store to shop for pleasure or need, but some very few customers are there to shop because of a demand (i.e. a company's dress code). but no matter the reason, in some how or some way, each person has to make a choice. this skirt with that top? those shoes with these pants? long sleeve or 3/4 sleeve? vest or jacket? we've all heard the saying "the possibilities are endless" and yes, when shopping from a variety of clothing, the possibilities are endless... depending on who you are and what you are looking for.

when we are given the tools and/or necessary means in life to make a choice, the possibilities may very well seem endless. we have to take into account what we already know (or have) and make a choice from those "possibilities". we obviously can't DO everything, which relates to the fact that we obviously can't BUY all the pieces of clothing in the store (because why would we, and who has that much space or money?) everyone is different and what someone else likes, maybe no one likes; and what fits one person, won't necessarily fit another... literally and metaphorically.

so, "making the right decision is like finding the right pair of shoes. you want them to fit your feet good and hope they won't start to cause blisters anytime soon." (- a school director from the bloomington-normal area in regards to making choices) sometimes it's a blessing to have so much to choose from, but then at other times the experience creates fear and anxiety for a person. the process becomes an overstimulation of information and decisions and possible outcomes... and just like when shopping for shoes, we just hope we make the right choice!

i feel like my first real "shoe store" experience was making the choice to apply to ISU. without much looking around and really only knowing (1) it was near to peoria and (2) it offered a great education program, i made the decision. thankfully i was accepted and now here i am as a 2-weeks-in current student. also, deciding to go through IVHQ and to KENYA were also big decisions that when reflecting back, it seems like i knew what i was looking for and i just chose the shoe without seeing if it fit. i went with my instinct... and had the most wonderful experience in the end.

but bringing us back to this moment in time, i am out shopping a few stores looking for the perfect fit.

i desire wholehearted and intentional relationship and fellowship... small and large groups' captivating discussions of scripture... the feeling of being lost in worship and taken away to some secret heavenly place - what church will fit best?

i am passionate about children and teaching them, on all levels of learning... i want to be involved with my community... i want to reach out to the poor and broken and the widows and the orphans - what current and post-graduation opportunities (i.e. clubs and organizations) will fit best?

i know that with time, an instinct will reveal itself and my choices will get narrowed down. but until then, i am going to continue trying different shoes on and seeing how they fit. and ya know, those shoes may look great in the box but when you put them on they are tight and itchy and maybe even ugly... but if at some point the shoe does fit flawlessly, it's probably meant to be.

so, i just wonder... what kind of new shoes will i be wearing soon?

well, this first day was wonderful. i met some new friends, we went for smoothies at freshens, and i felt just at place and at peace with my surroundings and i've got a feeling my monday/wednesday classes are going to be a whole lot of fun.

"Do not tremble, do not be afraid. Did I not proclaim this and foretell it long ago? You are my witnesses. Is there any God besides me? No, there is no other Rock; I know not one."
Isaiah 44:8

the beginning of something great

i went to my first large group church service tonight since moving here and it was so very refreshing. the ministry was called fuel and by large group, i mean there were nearly 300 college students at this one service.

the pastor spoke about letting god break through our boxes of who we think he is and being open to how awesomely big he really is. he taught on stories featuring jesus and naaman and elisha... and us. our stories. of going in peace to wherever we are called and being the divine dirt that we are.

we all are of infinite value, each and every one of us. and we've got the holiest spirit living inside of us.

i don't exactly know what to think or make of starting school tomorrow. what will university life be like? what will this semester be like? what will these next few years be like? well, i don't know... but i do know that i am excited to see what the lord has planned.

somehow my education here and the time i am going to spend here is all a part of the "plan". and i am embracing that plan because i completely trust the one who made it.

i recently read that all great distances start with taking a single step. so that's what i'm going to do. and i'm also going to pray.

a prayer something like this: to boldly yet humbly step out in faith and obedience, trusting the one who's leading me.

monstrous waves & minuscule wonders

as i sit here and reflect about our day spent at the beach in the most picturesque setting, i am captivated by the wonder of creation.

today we stood in the ocean as giant waves spilled down into the tides and captured us in their fullness of water avalanches. at times we went with the flow and enjoyed the ride, but most often we were overpowered by their magnificant strength and those waves took our breath away. literally.

it seemed like the worst of timing when as soon as we caught our breath, randy yelled "watch out!" and another wave overtook us. recovering from the beatings took time and energy, to stand, refocus, wipe our eyes free of the saltiest water, and prepare ourselves for another rolling hit... all while laughing with each other by the somethings that were found so hilariously funny.

after stinging eyes and noses and legs tired of fighting the pressure of such a strong current, we gave in to that ocean and let it take us into the beach where we stood and walked the way back to our reserved spot on the sand. we then laid on our towels, soaking up the sun and allowing our drips to dry by the heat of the day. families near us were building extravagent castles of sand, babes were cooing and snuggled so close to their mamas, some kids were digging holes and playing... and i laid there breathing and taking it all in. the greatness of family, of love, and of friendship. i ran my fingers through the sand and realized the wonder that existed all around me - the wonder of beaches... known for having big blue skies overhead, sunscreen covered children running around, rays of sun pouring down, colorful displays of towels and toys, the creamiest white stand beneath your feet, and the edge of the vast sea flowing in.

some time later, we retreated to our condo and found a few clusters of green seaweedy moss clinging to our skin and some sand granules remaining in between our toes that had come home with us. so we showered those beach souvenirs away and said our official goodbyes to the ocean and sand for the day.

and even though we're clean now, and even though our footprints have surely been washed away from the sand... our memories of fighting with the monster that is the gulf of mexico and laying ourselves out to dry under the big sky above, all while taking in the creativity of our God and the beauty of his work, will forever be with us.

some things on my mind

- today i worked my first 7 hr shift at jcp. i thought the day would take forever, but surprisingly it flew by faster than any of the shorter night shifts i've worked. there's just something about the daytime i guess... and working with little elderly ladies who say the funniest things about customers and get so distracted from the many tasks they are trying to accomplish. it was such a fun day and i am looking forward to my little easy peasy 4hr shift tomorrow!

- buying food isn't that easy when you're only buying for one and cooking meals aren't as fun when you're doing it by yourself... i can't wait til the day when i have a little family of my own.

- i also can't wait to have a home of my own. a place where i get more than just a bitty room to make my own and create it's space as a wonderful escape that's so sweet and cozy. and maybe i could even live someplace where the weather is perfect during the days and nights and there is no need for a/c or heat. that would be wonderful...

- but for now, i am really looking forward to our panama city vacation in just 3 days and starting school in 18. i need something more to do with my time, and i need to make some new friends in this town!

pink-goggled wonder

the weather outside is frightful and so awfully UNdelightful...

today's lack of busyness took me to the pool for a bit of afternoon swimming and cool relaxation in the heat of the sun and crazy humidity. fairview park was perfectly crowded by families making memories and teens enjoying the last bit of summertime freedom they've got before school starts.

as i hung out in the pool, i watched some kids playing and friends interacting and i was inspired by a little red headed girl with pink goggles who was probably about 7 years old. she would jump into the water and swim the length of the lap lane with all of her strength and come up on the other side not gasping for breath, but rather joyfully glad at her accomplishment... so then she swam it again and again and again. her enthusiam was sweet and she was filled with the sort of wonder i think that we should all have for our lives... being purely excited about even the smallest of things.

a thrifty tuesday

even though i have books to read because their library due date is quickly approaching... pages and photos to be designed and crafted for my memory book... laundry piles past the sorted stage and waiting to be washed... a somewhat destroyed bedroom needing attention... i somehow found myself bored today.

a few weeks ago, we had our carpets cleaned and had to pick up everything from the floor. once these piles got picked up though, they never made it back to the floor next to the tv...


their stacks upon the end table have never bothered me, until today. i wanted to do something about them... to get rid of them in some way... and also to get them organized. there was also a bag of wii games just hangin' out on the table... that needed some tlc too. so i ran some errands (most of which were on my to-do list for today) and made a quick stop by a few thrift stores, michaels, and a local hardware store. then once i got home and with my idea in my head, a hammer in one hand and nails in the other, i brought some organization to our collection of dvds, all for under $15.


i'm really glad with how it turned out... pretty head-on to what i was envisioning. i hope to gather a few more fun things to decorate the setup that we've got going on now, and of course there's still plenty of room for more dvds! oh what a wonderful thrifty tuesday!

the barn

this past weekend, i spent some time at The Barn Bed & Breakfast, scrapbooking with my aunt and a few of her friends. i have really been searching for the motivation to work on my photo/memory book about kenya, and i sure found it there with those women.

now, this was no simple low-key scrapin' event. those ladies had everything set up by the time i got there and they took over the whole of that barn. the back room (decorated as a "tool shed") was transformed into a room for computer work, cropping, and cutting and working tables occupied the living room and all of the small benches and side tables that the cabin provided served as table extensions. almost any tool, pen, sticker, color of paper, embellishment, and adhesive you would need was available and we had nearly a hundred different cartridges to use with the cricut machines (which we had 3 of!). there was even a ruler-type tool for tearing paper along and getting that torn effect that we like when we're modpoding... a tool for that! i never knew that those sorts of things even existed. at times, i was a bit overwhelmed. but i loved it all. from working by sunlight to working by nightlight, i was able to get about 10 pages done during my time there. maybe that doesn't really seem like a lot, but when you factor in all that goes into making ONE page... that number, to me, sounds pretty good. we also would need to factor in the near hour that us girls spent gathered around the small kitchen table eating our lunch and then dinner, and taking breaks to go on walks to clear our minds and to check on the mama cow who was due to deliver a new calf at any minute. (sadly, there was no baby by the time i left)

the barn offered me a great escape. i was so inspired by the beauty that surrounded me and by those 50ish-year-old women who had the sweetest spirits and personalities. it was actually freeing, too, to not have internet access at my fingertips and constant cell phone reception. and one day, maybe ill have a craft room as wonderful as that simple barn with tons of little extras of life to create and make art with.