Helper

in a month's time, i've experienced the range where on one end exists the highly undesirable receipt of a student teaching disposition addressing areas of demanded improvement and where on the other end exists words of encouragement such as this:

"I am amazed and thrilled for you as you continue to grow and stretch yourself... your goals are well thought out... thank you for your extra effort and continual determination to be the best you can be!" - my ISU student teaching supervisor
the past 14 weeks of this semester have taught me a lot. i feel like everything i experience teaches me a lot, but in some way this a lot is different - and i want to remember the specifics of this a lot for many reasons.

sometimes you don't realize where you are, who are you, or how you present yourself... until a situation arises that reveals something special to you, or you go somewhere new, each which can lead you to reflect on how things used to be. some of my situations in this season have consisted of a calling of me to be humble, to put aside my pride, and to surrender myself under the authority of the men (or women) that God has placed me under. yet, with these revelations and calls for a change of heart, mind, and/or attitude, i encountered the extreme level of difficulty that acting upon this all places a person at.

and yet through all of the trials and tears and tiring days, the Lord sustained me. He asks us to seek... and when we do, He promises us that we will find. He commands us to make our requests known to Him, for He longs to work in our lives so that we may have even more reason to glorify Him. He will answer us, He will set us free, He is on our side - and most of all, He can be trusted.

i came across this verse (psalm 118:5-8) last week. it's a true representation of the situation i've found myself frequently in this semester...

i was in distress (and still sometimes am) and i called upon Him. i asked God to renew my joy for teaching, i believed for His presence to fill the classroom each day as i walked into sheridan elementary, and i prayed so intently for what was on my heart. i cried in secret and i cried amongst friends. my 23 students were constantly on my mind and i yearned to be strong and grow as a professional and as a teacher during the trials that this semester presented me. at times, i was angry, frustrated and sad. at other times, i just wanted to give up... out of fear... of man and at times, of simply failing.

this is my heart. wide open.
and i share this publicly, with whoever may be reading this, so that my experiences can serve as another story that testifies the goodness of the Lord. maybe you don't believe in God or believe in His power, but know- it is real and He only has plans to grow you up as a successful beloved child of His. whether your days are joyous and complete or overwhelming and you're desperate for help - i would encourage you to put your trust in Him. seek Him, read His words and be reminded of His promises. He knows your heart more than you do... just as He knew why each of the tears fell from my eyes nearly every other day just a few weeks ago.

Lord, you are worthy to be praised - thank you that you are bigger than any situation and that you are always with us. thank you also for your unfailing promises.