These past 4 months have been, in some ways, rather life-changing. In one area in particular, there is evidence of growth in relationships, matured behavior, and an increase of knowledge as I carry down on this road of transitioning from pre-service teacher to full-time teacher. Details of the evidence of these aforementioned points are described below.
Going into this semester, I was beyond excited. I was excited to meet the students that I would spend this year with, I was excited to meet and get to know the teacher who would mentor me through what would be my first unofficial year of teaching, and I anticipated learning the ins and outs of a school environment from a teacher’s perspective. I observed and participated, this semester, in the field of teaching for about 24 hours each week. I co-led discussions, taught lessons, led small groups and large groups in discussion, facilitated whole class instruction, prepared materials, attended parent-teacher conferences, attended an IEP triennial meeting, attended professional development meetings, participated in event planning, and began professional and personal relationships with quite a few of the staff members at Sheridan Elementary.
In August, I entered this school as a student. A student who was willing to learn, feeling optimistic, and excited for the months that lay ahead. I met 21 students and a teacher in her last year of teaching. But, unexpectedly and yet fortunately, I began to face trials and had to overcome obstacles to get to where I am now. At times, I felt very bitter, discouraged and on the verge of quitting the program. But, I never did. I persevered, with the help of great and heartfelt encouragement from a variety of sources and made use of the determination that I knew existed within me. At times, it is hard to admit that you face these sorts of trials - ones that bring you to tears and make you wonder why you would be at such a place - but it’s when you can stand on the other side of the trial feeling accomplished and refreshed, feeling that the struggle was somehow worth the outcome of it all.
One thing that I was reminded of throughout this semester was that every day is a new day. Earlier this semester, I would teach lessons and feel as if I held absolutely no authority over the students. They took the control away from me and I feel that I let them do so because I didn’t know how to be forceful and kind at the same time, in their eyes. Some days I would feel extremely discouraged and lost because of such situations, but I took away from each of my experiences something to grow me. I didn’t want to lose the students’ affection and I didn’t want them to not like me, and so because of that, I feared being authoritative. Yet, through much “practice”, I have learned how to be in control and even quoting my clinical supervisor, I have been “in the zone”. Oh, to be there is amazing - to develop and maintain control during instruction is amazing! And wonderfully yet surprisingly to me, the students still love me. One of the most common requests asked of me, that I can recall in this moment, from our class of now 22 students is, “Can I have a hug?” Surely, yes, absolutely - I am more than willing to oblige! For the most part, respect is given to me as I give it to both my students and my CT. Reaching this point certainly did not come easy or did it happen overnight, but by grace given and being able to offer consistent, bold, and sure love, it happened. I have grown a lot this past semester and I am grateful for where I stand today.
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